Barney?
BARNEY?
Hi, sorry, do we--?
Charlie Connor's boy? He said I'd find you here.
Never heard of him
You play just like him, you know.
No.
I don't just mean you can blow, which you can, but the way you arch your back on the big notes...
Pure Charlie Connor.
Can't hide it.
Look, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you.
I've got bad news.
I'm afraid he died, last week. Heart attack. I'm sorry.
Who are you?
Sean Blaine. Played in the same band as him. As your dad. Drums.
Also did a bit of legal stuff for him. Day job I'm a solicitor
Like I said, never heard of him.
Look, I understand, I know he wasn't... easy.
The funeral's tomorrow, He'd have wanted you to play.
A requiem or something.
Saint Mary's, Richmansworth. Then a will reading.
Should never have done the drums.
Didn't fancy playing?
He wanted that as his epitaph.
"Composer Currently Decomposing"
Funny.
Who are that lot?
His girlfriend.
His latest business partner - something about pine nuts in Senegal - you know what he was like.
The little guy, Joey, plays sax in the band with us.
The tattooed fella, I think, was a cellmate.
Ford, or Pentonville?
Don't know.
The big guy, I don't know. You?
Don't know any of them.
I've only seen him a handful of times since mum died and he shot off to Spain.
Sorry.
It's fine.
You his boy?
Charlie Connor owed me.
Owed you what? What for?
Let's just say he had a bad week on the horses. Few bad weeks as it happens.
But the trumpet's mine.
He offered it up for collateral; ten grands' worth, he told me.
Used to be Louis Armstrong's or something.
So what if it did?
That kind of money it should play itself.
It wasn't his to offer. He gave it to me.
I've had it since I was a boy.
Ten grand and you can have it back.
Where am I going to get..?
You're a lawyer; tell him, he can't just take it.
Not... technically.
I'd need to see the paperwork really.
I'll call the police.
And the price will go up.
Sorry son, but that's just the way it works.
Sorry for your loss.
Your dad, I mean.
How does he do it. Still. From beyond the bloody grave.
Thanks for inviting me, by the way. Lovely funeral.
At least come to the will reading.
You got his playing style, maybe he left you something else as well.
Ten grand?
Probably not.
But he was Charlie Connor, so... maybe.
How did you..?
I'm very observerant.
Enrique. I'm the owner.
Barney. Could I get...
Of course, una cervecita.
Sorry, do you know this house?
Yes, of course. That was Charlie Connor's old house.
You have bought it?
Not really. I've kind of... acquired it.
I've just come to check it out. Sell it really.
I will take you later.
No. No thanks. I'm fine on my own.
I insist.
You acquired it without seeing it?
Yeah. No. It was kind of a prize. In a competition.
Was it first prize, or last prize?
Still, it's got to be worth something, right?
Sure, but you won't sell it like this. Not at any price.
Not even ten thousand pounds?
There are perhaps fifty houses for sale on this mountain.
Everyone wants to sell, but people only want to buy houses they can live in.
Just make some simple reforms.
Maybe three, four thousand euros.
You can't make a silk purse from a pig's arse.
Charlie Connor is your father, maybe?
Yeah, he was. He died a couple of weeks ago.
I'm sorry.
How did you know?
I think you need a better story than winning a competition.
What does this mean?
In my little English, "The Bloody Englishman"
He tried to make a macadamia farm here - you know, the nuts?
And he poisoned all the water with insecticides and herbicides.
His farm was over an underground stream.
There are natural springs all around. But still we can't drink from them.
And that was five years ago.
Animals died. Farms were ruined.
That's terrible
He made promises, he lied, he owes money to everyone.
When anything here goes wrong now, they blame el maldito ingles.
Look, I had nothing to do with him.
I understand. I have something similar with my father.
Is it going to be a problem, my being his son?
With me? Of course not. But maybe keep it to ourselves.
Not everyone here is as tolerable as me.
Thanks.
So, how are you going to get some money to reform the house?
Bank loan?
On this property? In Spain? Nowadays?
God! You gave me a start.
Er, you made me...
I thought this place was deserted.
You speak English.
I saw you earlier, in the village.
I'm from Barx, but my father was English.
Have you bought it?
Er... Not exactly, but it's mine.
Why? D'you want to make me an offer?
Inherited?
No. My manager bought it for me as an investment.
Well, I think you might want to get a new manager.
This is Charlie Connor's old house.
So I've heard.
So you know what he did to the water here.
Well my parents' farm is just down there, down the hill. It ruined us.
I'm sorry.
It's not your fault.
No. Obviously. I just...
I'm Paloma, by the way.
That sounded good.
Thanks. But it's just something I'm working on.
You wrote that?
And played all the parts?
Computers. Don't really need anybody else.
Everybody needs somebody.
Anyway, aren't musicians all about collaboration?
Not this one. I fly solo. Always have.
What about you? What do you do?
I look after my granny.
And teach a few hours of English in the school here.
And that's enough to live on?
These are tough times. La crisis, haven't you heard?
Probably hasn't affected you lone wolf musicians.
Anyway, you'll like it here. It's a friendly place.
Usually means nosey, but...
I'm not really looking to stay. Just do the place up, sell it, get back to London.
Okay. Well good luck then.
Pile in.
Gavin Blair.
There you go Mr Barney, er Armstrong, load up before Michael finishes the lot.
How d'you end up in little old Barx?
Fell asleep on the Jubilee line, next thing you know...
Oi, I do the jokes.
You'll like it here. Good people.
Not Nigel, obviously...
Wednesday night karaoke, pub quiz...
Enrique does some decent grub, and we've finally got him to put some English TV on in the bar. Eh, Enrique?
Don't tell him Spike.
Enrique's all right. Not like them lot.
I'm in IT. I work from here, but I've got a couple of major UK clients.
Here, have a nan. You?
I'm kind of a musician.
Trumpet, I'm guessing.
No relation, I suppose.
Er what do you..?
We have got a little band though. Not like this lot. Y'know, proper stuff, Beatles covers, that kind of thing.
You should try out.
Yeah, I don't really...
Don't be shy. Hey, Enrique, man is not a camel.
Hey, Ray. All right boys, let's see if you can keep up.
The king's here, the king's here.
Can't stand it when they get like this.
I'm sure they weren't this British back home.
It used to be the heart of village life.
A place for everyone: young and old, male and female, Spanish and English.
The universal language of music, eh?
Mock all you like, but that's how it was.
We were a family. Just the family you choose, rather than the family you're stuck with.
We'd play at fiestas, weddings, funerals. We used to win competitions.
In fact the big regional one is in a couple of weeks.
And the village even has its own amphitheatre.
Of course it does.
Where else would Barx gladiators go to kill Barx dragons?
That's a coliseum. Amphitheatre - for music.
Do you play?
Clarinet. But not so much since the band fell apart.
What happened?
La crisis.
Suddenly everbody was scrabbling around trying to make ends meet. No one could spare the time.
Then the band leader has to give up to work full time on his farm, and that was that.
It's a shame.
Yeah, I suppose so.
You think you're a lone wolf, I think you're a cold fish.
Quicker than you look
So, Spain loves its fountains, eh?
Maybe not this one.
The water authority keeps sending a man to check the water quality in the village.
The fountain stays dry until it passes the test.
All right. Anyway, look, had an idea.
How do you feel about you and me getting the band back together?
What?
The Barx band. With me as band leader.
What happened to not wanting to join in?
You don't even speak Spanish, do you?
You could translate for me.
And I thought you wanted to get out of here.
Look, it's not forever.
We're just getting the band back on its feet.
And didn't you say there was a big competition coming up?
One that you guys used to win?
Yeah, yeah, the certamen de los pueblos de... It's a competition, right? And all the musicians they're still around?
We could play that piece on your computer.
Great. Whatever.
But you have to do it properly.
Of course.
And not let me down. And not let them down.
I won't. And I won't.
I underestimated you.
So, when do we start?
How about tomorrow?
We could post up leaflets: "Calling all Barx musicians", that sort of thing.
I can't believe Barx has its own amphitheatre.
You have changed your mind. You are staying.
Just for the competition.
Then I'm doing up the house with the prize money, selling it, and getting back to London.
You are going to take the prize money?
Borrow it. I'll repay every penny. With interest.
I'm not my father.
I know. But can you do this without anyone finding out that you are his son?
Well I'm not going to tell anyone. Are you?
Of course not.
Just mustn't play the trumpet in front of anyone. Think I can just about manage that.
Oh, apparently I play like him. A lot like him. And it's quite distinctive.
She thinks you will fall in love with the village and the band.
No offence, but that's not going to happen.
I don't need a village. I don't need a band. I just need ten thousand quid and it's hasta la vista.
Nobody will come.
Thanks for the vote of confidence.
It's not you. It's because they think band music is boring. Now everbody listens to hip-hop.
Yes, sure. Dubstep, drumstep, grime, trap...
Actually, we're using one of Barney's compositions.
Ah, it's either our first customer or the worst gangster ever.
He never wanted to play the tuba.
He always fancied the trombone.
Okay, tell him how important we think this is. Y'know, for the village.
That didn't sound very welcoming.
He's a proud Valenciano. You're English. It's the whole Charlie Connor thing.
He sold the band some dodgy uniforms and ran off with the money.
Yeah, I got that bit.
So, what do you think?
At least we know Carmen will be there.
Anyway, you will find out tomorrow at the casa de cultura.
No Jose' and no Luis.
Who and who?
Luis is our trumpet soloist, our star.
And you remember Jose'. He's... here.
Okay. Let's get started.
Right, let's get started with something I'm sure you'll all know.
Bac's trumpet concerto for a funeral.
It was the last director's signature piece.
It's kind of... sacrosanct.
Okay, jeez, sorry.
All right. How about an old faithful pasadoble...El Gato Montes.
Seriously? What now?
It's just a 1970's cliché.
Spain for tourists.
And he wants to know who's going to play the trumpet as Luis isn't here?
You?
No, I don't even play the trumpet.
Okay, right, we're doing El Gato Montes and...
You're going to play the lead. Okay?
What's that guy called?
Hello, darling.
How did rehearsals go?
Not bad. Good.
Have a good day.
You haven't seen Paloma, have you?
Bit of a shocker last night, I heard.
How did you..?
Not much goes on in Barx without me knowing about it.
For instance, I heard from Enrique that you wrote some song.
And your manager used the proceeds to buy Charlie Connor's house.
Charlie Connor, now there was a character.
Was he?
Funny as a fight.
Not everyone's cup of tea though, but there you go.
So must have been quite famous then, this song of yours.
Not famous exactly.
Come on! What's it called?
I think they ended up calling it something like... Love and stuff.
They kept changing it. The name.
And, er... how'd it go? I tell you what, why don't you hum it for us?
Don't really remember the rest.
Catchy.
So what do you want her for then? Paloma?
Well that's kind of between us.
They'll be okay. They just need a little practice.
They need a lot of practice.
If you need sunglasses I've got a suitcase full of them back at the house.
Oh yeah, the sunglasses scam.
Cheap rubbish.
So, this Luis better be everything you say he is.
We need our trumpet soloist.
You know that's what Charlie Connor used to do?
He might have been a bastard, but he could really play.
Distinctive.
Yeah, so I've been told.
What was Gavin's problem, by the way?
Seemed pretty hostile.
Don't worry about him. He likes to be the big fish, that's all.
Luis' father isn't well he needs Luis here to work
He can't just do this one competition.
He says they need to get the tomatoes to market by Friday.
He's just too busy.
So that's it?
See Luis's father?
He was the previous band leader.
Yeah. The guy from the photo in the bar.
What photo?
Nothing.
The Bach's trumpet concerto for a funeral guy, right?
Until he gave up the band to work on the farm.
So it's what you might call a family tradition.
I thought that meant goodbye.
More like "so long".
Useful in a village where everyone knows everyone and you see each other all the time.
Give me a big, anonymous city any day.
No one talks to anyone, you just get on with it.
She wants to know if there's anything she can do to help.
Not unless you've got a giant, tomato gathering machine...
Yes! Great! Tell him tomorrow afternoon we rehearse...
...and tomorrow night our first public performance.
It went well, huh?
Very well.
So... I'm thinking, maybe now's a good time to get started on the house.
Do you happen to know any builders?
Sure, sure, my cousin Alejandro is a painter and builder. I can ask him.
Great. Thanks.
Congratulations.
And to you, yeah. And to everyone.
And you were right about Luis.
I don't know how he plays that crappy trumpet of his, but the guy can really blow.
It's not about the instrument; it's about the music.
Not bad.
Thanks.
You're almost ready for the competition.
You know, I was thinking of entering myself.
You?
Yeah, and a couple of mates.
Just you and a couple of guitars.
Oh, we've been recruiting too.
For now.
Oh, by the way, you did say Barney Armstrong, right? And the song was "Love and Stuff"?
Probably, yeah. I mean about the song title, yeah.
Coz I'm definitely, who I am...
Hang on, you can't poach Antonio.
You know I've got a funny feeling that you're up to something.
I don't know what it is yet. But it's something.
It's nothing. I mean... I'm not. Just this.
Well it had better not be anything to do with Paloma.
You know, you may as well bugger off back to London, and take your fake song with you.
And just leave her alone.
I thought you would be more happy after last night.
No no, I am happy, I'm just thinking.
What? Girl trouble?
No, no. God no.
Bueno. Last night
He said nice one, tight performance, outstanding conducting.
He said it's all fake and irrelevant:
Carmen was written a century ago and by a Frenchman. And you're English.
So nothing nice about my conducting?
It's not good if they're all starting to think that way.
All of them?
Well, some of Jose''s friends weren't looking exactly... what's the opposite of disgruntled.
If they leave, we're finished.
Well, there's nothing I can do about not being Spanish.
We could Spanish you up a bit.
Reassure everyone that you're interested, committed, passionate.
Which I am. Just, how to show it.
I could teach you some Spanish.
In a week?
Maybe dress as a matador.
You could wear my flamenco dress; lots of frills and polka dots.
Any other ideas?
Maybe it's the composition we should make more Spanish.
So what... Add some castanets?
You could add a flamenco section.
I don't know anything about flamenco.
She said with your arms like this you look like you will be shot
Tell her she's hilarious.
She says that you're getting on very nicely.
I have no idea what you're saying.
No music now, just clapping.
Amazing!
You don't really get stars in London.
Yeah, London's rubbish.
What's the Spanish for stars?
Actually my dad was from london. And all my friends are there looking for work.
I'd like to go one day.
You're not cold?
No, it's just this place. I never thought...
I remember seeing my dad walking through his orange grove just down there.
All the fruit was brown. The ground all soft with rotten oranges.
He was like a ghost. Mum said he died of a broken heart.
And she died a couple of years later.
And this place is where it all started.
Paloma, look, I haven't exactly...
It's a great thing you're doing, you know. With the band.
No, it's true.
And I think you're getting something out of it too.
Who would have thought?
Maybe you're not such a lone wolf...
You do play the trumpet.
You must to have written this.
Oh, not really. Just... mainly on the computer.
You should be our soloist. After the competition.
If Luis is too busy.
I don't think so.
I'm going to find some way to bring the lone wolf back into the pack.
And it needs some lyrics.
Meanwhile, I'll start adding the flamenco section...
And rearranging it without the tuba.
No tuba? What do you mean?
What's happened to Antonio?
Well, Gavin's poached him for his band.
The band he's putting together for the competition.
Gavin? He's not putting together a band.
But he said...
The rules require a minimum number of musicians...
...and an emphasis on brass and woodwind.
He's messing with you.
But why would he steal our tuba player?
Leave it to me.
Fine.
So just add the flamenco.
Or... we could...
Work, wolf boy.
The band are meeting at the bar at eight and we need them to fall in love with it.
Wolf boy hungry!
Oh my God, Enrique, thank you.
Can you just tell them that I want a ham and cheese sandwich.
Sorry, just kidding.
What was that about?
That was their way of making you feel at home.
By laughing at me for being foreign?
By including you. And by making you a very tasteful sandwich. And for free
It's tasty, not tasteful.
You don't like being part of something?
Just not used to it, I guess. I've been on my own since I was sixteen.
And my father was...
Sure, sure, he was an asshole.
Mine too.
We can't all have fathers to be proud of.
Just like not all fathers can be proud of their sons.
You know, Charlie Connor wasn't only bad. He was charming, and funny, and energetic and full of new ideas.
To start with, everybody liked him.
Yeah, whatever. I don't want anything to do with him.
Even Barx?
My friend, sometimes it's not easy to belong.
But no man is an Iceland.
No man is an Iceland. Nice.
How do you say "great sandwich", in Spanish?
I told you, they were trying to make you feel at home.
Antonio? Seriously?
Tell me why. In fact, I know why: to get me to come round, right?
So tell me how.
How was easy. I gave him what every tuba player wants. A solo.
I told him he'd be playing Flight of the Bumblebee.
You're an idiot.
It was a joke.
Well it's not funny, Gav, this is serious.
All right, I'm sorry. You can have him back.
thank you
Is this about that Barney bloke?
No. And what if it was?
There's just something not right about him, that's all I'm saying.
If we win this competition it would mean a lot to a lot of people.
Yes, I know. And I'm sorry.
You've got your tuba player back. Everything's cushty again.
Kiss and make up?
All right, a hug?
I still love you, you know.
I know.
Come in, you can tell him yourself.
Here you go.
Complete with authentically Spanish flamenco section.
I'm going in, do you want anything?
Thanks, a bottle of water.
All right? Todo bien, old son?
Nice job!
So how's tricks?
Much on?
Wet paint.
You have been practising.
I just found out a little something about your boyfriend.
He's not my boyfriend.
What did you find out?
Well, you know that bloke who's painting on my street? Alejandro.
He's doing Barney's house next. Painting it. Fixing it up.
So?
Well I didn't think Barney had any money.
And then I started to wonder where he thinks he might be getting some from.
In the near future.
Have you spoken to your cousin yet?
The thing is... that thing we were talking about this morning. That it's not always easy to belong.
No man is an Iceland, remember?
The thing is, I'm thinking of giving it a go. Barx.
Settling down for a bit.
Good. You will be very welcome.
But, what about your secret?
The ghost of Charlie Connor?
I know, I know. I think I'm going to have to just come out and tell her.
To who?
Oh, my friend. I hope this isn't about her.
Why?
Because... she's with Gavin.
You mean... they went out?
They're still going out.
I thought it was finished, but I walked past his house today at siesta time and she was with him.
The were going to make the beast with two beaks.
Two beaks... it's an expression.
It's backs, you idiot: the beast with two backs
And it's island, not Iceland.
Ah, beast with two backs!
So I hear you're doing up your house.
With what?
Because you'd better not have been thinking of using the prize money.
I was just going to borrow it, okay?
And not even all of it...
Look, I've got to sell the house, I need ten thousand...
After everything I've told you about the things that bastard Charlie Connor used to do.
And you were about to go and do that?!
I wasn't.
Liar!
Oh I'm the liar, really? What about you and Gavin?
What? What's that got to do with anything?
And what was you and me about? Am I just a bit of local flavour?
Like learning a few words of Spanish, or adding a bit of flamenco to your song?
Okay, that was your idea to keep Jose' on board.
This isn't about Barx. Or the band. It never has been.
It's about you, you, you. No one else matters.
You give nothing, and take everything.
You betrayed us.
You betrayed me.
Haven't seen you for a few days.
I thought you'd gone back to London.
Look, Enrique, I'm sorry I called you an idiot the other night.
I'm the idiot.
Yes, you are an idiot.
And selfish, and egotistical, and unsensitive.
Insensitive.
Sorry
You are just like your father.
I'm nothing like my father.
And you think being alone means that you are strong.
All it means is that you are lost.
I'm not lost.
Or, at least, maybe I was...
...but I thought here I was - I don't know - found.
You think I don't know something about being alone?
I would love to be a part of any of the groups here.
So I try to be friendly.
And I try to be happy.
And I try to join in with everyone.
I'm sorry.
And, also... English is a very hard language.
You speak it very well.
I'm sorry for telling you about Gavin and Paloma.
I didn't kow you had feelings with her.
With her, for her, around her...
That'll teach me.
Oh, my God, me, me, me, me, me. I'm sorry.
Hang on, you're closed. Is it some kind of holiday?
Didn't you know?
Luis's father Manolo died a few days ago.
Luis the trumpeter? I didn't know.
It's the funeral today.
Now, in fact.
Come.
Where?
You should pay your respects.
Come, I will take you.
I know. You are thinking: maybe Enrique is not a gay man after all.
Maybe he's a lesbian.
Manolo's signature music.
Everyone knew Luis's father.
And everyone knows someone in the band.
Friends, families, neighbours.
The band is Barx.
You said they will recognise you by how you play.
I thought you wanted to stay.
Good man.
I'm Barney
Can you tell her I'm sorry.
And that I wanted to stay.
They told me what you did for Luis.
She is with the band.
Hey! It's Barney.
Can you let me in?
Paloma, I just want...
...This.
You are going?
I thought you were observerant.
And selling your house?
I need the money to get my trumpet back.
Why?
I don't know.
He might have been a bastard but that was the only thing he ever gave me.
He also gave you Barx.
Then took it away again.
Maybe.
Good on you, Barney Connor.
Relax. Just thought I should at least say goodbye.
Yeah. I was hoping... Me too.
I'm sorry you didn't know about me and Gavin.
But it's been over for a year now.
But Enrique said he saw you there with him.
Getting our tuba player back.
I thought...
I didn't know.
Why didn't you ask?
And I wasn't lying.
I mean... I was to start with.
But not after... after you and me.
I was going to stay.
I was going to tell you who I was...
I was going to ask to borrow the prize money
But by then...
Okay.
See you, I guess
Turn away
If you would see me.
Go a little way
If you must go
Leave, then turn and see me
You will have tasted pure water
That's my tune.